An Inconvenient Tumor

"For All Intents and Purposes"

I don't usually let a lot of things bother me. Most people would say I'm not overly sensitive or take things the wrong way. I'm usually the one telling other people to "get over it" or being politically incorrect. But, and I'm sure I'm just being ridiculously sensitive here, I have to address a previous reader's comment that frankly, pissed me off. I thought about it for a little while and being the blogging-newbie that I am, realized, "wow, I have a blog and I can write whatever I want" (and so can he, which is what makes this a wonderful country). So I'm going to write about Mike, self-described as "that guy." Don't we all just LOVE "that guy?"

As I said before, Bryan and I love reading everyone's comments. I get them on my Blackberry, so we are often able to read them as they come in. We share them with people around us. While a lot of you say you're a fan of Bryan, I've got to tell you that we're a fan of YOURS. You might not realize it, but a lot of the readers' who have left amazing comments now have fans in my parents, Bryan's parents and our friends. Ninety-nine percent of them are incredible, and the 1% that aren't...well, you have your opinion and it's a free country.

Despite that fact, Mike's really rubbed me the wrong way. It started out positively and innocently enough:

"First, let me say that like everyone else, I wish for both of you a long and happy life together (Me: "Thank you very much."). Second, this narrative is compelling, educational, and entertaining, and whether you know it or not you are performing a service (Me: "Wow, this guy is really nice. Bryan, listen to this...what an incredible thing to say. Can you believe how nice he is?"). And last, I hate to be "that guy" but I am, and the correct term is "for all intents and purposes." (Me: Bryan "dropping" something that sounds like slamming brakes and squealing tires).

I'm sorry...what did you just say? I have a real problem with people who say they "don't wanna be 'that guy' or 'that girl'," BUT THEN DO IT ANYWAY. Listen, it's a free country and technically he admitted that he is "that guy." So, say what you want. I certainly do. That said, I prefaced this blog, and several posts, by thanking everyone for not attacking my "stream of consciousness" grammar. It's hard enough to live through this; imagine what it's like to have your "cancer blog" – which is intended to update our family, friends and Bryan's incredible fans on the state of our battle with his brain tumor – criticized because you wrote "for all intensive purposes" instead of "for all intents and purposes." I'll tell you what it's like: IT'S LAME.

All I ask if that you please give me a break. This blog is emotional, real-time, hard-to-read and (you guessed it), hard-to-write sometimes. It's NOT grammatically correct. And I'm okay with that. I hope you are, too.

But here's the thing: if you're NOT okay with it, don't tell me. Tell someone else. Because frankly, I'm busy going to radiation appointments, blood work appointments, neuro oncology appointments, ordering and counting 12 different types of pills, talking to insurance companies about subsidy plans that haven't gone through yet. Oh, and at the SAME TIME, I'm planning a wedding for 125 people that occurs in four weeks. So, yeah, sometimes I can get a little stressed out and have a range of emotions that fall on the more frantic side of the "how to positively deal with a brain tumor" scale.

I don't know why this guy's comment pissed me off so much. Like I said, I'm probably just being sensitive. Maybe my "thick skin" isn't as thick now (both figuratively and literally, thanks to a wedding diet). But, after all is said and done, thank you for letting me have this little rant. I really, really needed it.