An Inconvenient Tumor

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February 28, 2010

"The Summer Of Everything Goes"

Bryan and I drove back to La Jolla last Thursday to see his "guru" physical therapist. In case you're catching up, this is the one with whom he spent 30 hours over five days working on everything from fingertip movements to hopping to re-learning the fundamentals of running. At the end of that week, the therapist had taken a true liking towards Bryan and one could tell was invested in seeing him improve. We could tell this because he and his wife told us, and said that they wanted to regularly to follow-up with Bryan to ensure his therapists in L.A. were following the appropriate regimen. Basically, he believes Bryan has the ability to regain 100% of his functionality and is dedicated to seeing him do that. 

Hence the title. At the end of Thursday's session, at which point he had gotten Bryan hopping across the room as well as developing a fast-moving "bounding" motion (a precursor to running), he made a bold announcement: "This is the summer where 'everything goes'." Actually, given the improvements Bryan has experienced in the six days of working with this therapist, it's not that bold. This is the summer where Bryan is running, playing sports, walking perfectly, and well, just doing everything that he used to. The summer where he's 100% back to normal. It was like a group cheer, but not a disingenuous one. We all truly believe Bryan will get there and are privileged to watch every improvement, no matter how small, along the way.

The next morning, Bryan had his bi-weekly appointment with his neuro oncologist. He was thrilled to watch the progress Bryan continues to make. After sharing with him Bryan's experience with the therapist in La Jolla (his take: "Anytime a therapist tells you that you have plateaued, it means the therapist has plateaued. Not you. There's always room to improve"), the neuro oncologist said, "You know, anyone can recover from anything." Most people might let this statement pass without a second thought, but not us. You see, brain tumor doctor rarely, and I mean practically never, give any semblance of hope. None. If anything, they err on the side of caution and concern (which obviously makes perfect sense). But this was the first time Bryan's doctor had actually shared any potential of a recovery. We obviously have no idea what's going to happen in the future but we're taking our unwavering optimism, throwing in the dash of hope bestowed by Bryan's therapist and doctor, and running with it.

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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February 22, 2010

Anatomy of Bryan's Braces

Over the past year, Bryan has had a number of braces to keep his leg and ankle in line. As he's improved, the braces have changed to match the shape of his foot and overall ankle function. We've talked so much about his braces that it might be fun to share them with you. Here's the good, bad and the (literally) ugly ankle braces Bryan has worn over the past several months.

Brace #1: AFO (Ankle-Foot Orthotic)
Worn: July 2009 - September 2009
Pros: Prevented ankle from turning under, resulting in sprains. This was a major problem during Bryan's worst months, e.g. Summer.
Cons: Rigid, restricted foot/ankle movement, bulky, uncomfortable fiberglass molding strapped to calf. Not to mention, it was just plain U-G-L-Y.


AFO Front View

AFO; Look how it stands on its own!

Brace #2: Air Cast
Worn: September 2009 - January 2010
Pros: Continued to prevent ankle from turning under, avoiding sprains. Relatively comfortable, used by many athletes. Allowed for increased natural ankle movement.
Cons: Stabilized foot, but we later realized it didn't prevent the front and mid-section of Bryan's foot from continuing to turn. Aside from stabilizing ankle, didn't offer additional help in terms of improving Bryan's overall foot function/gait.


Brace #3: Hinged Foot Brace
Worn: January 2010 - February 2010
Pros: Hinges allowed for increased up & down ankle movement. This allowed Bryan to walk more "heel-toe" versus on a completely flat foot. Small, dark and discreet; could be worn more easily with a variety of shoes. 
Cons: Didn't address Bryan's physical inability to raise his toes and walk heel-toe. While his ankle was stabilized, the rest of his foot continued to walk incorrectly, e.g. flat footed, turning under, etc.


Brace #4: Dynamic Articulated Ankle/Foot Orthosis with Molded Inner Boot, Dorsiflexion Assist Ankle Joints & Inversion/Eversion Control
Worn: February 2010 - Now
Pros: Custom-made from a cast mold of Bryan's foot and ankle. Realigns Bryan's foot and forces it to walk in an anatomically-correct "heel-toe" motion. Prevents ankle turning. Helps retrain foot and ankle muscles to function correctly when walking. Designed to be temporary; once Bryan's foot is entirely realigned and his muscles are retrained, he won't need a brace of any kind.
Cons: Bulky appearance isn't atheistically pleasing and from the back looks like Bryan has a fake foot. Requires Bryan to wear two different sized shoes. The brace is slightly over-sized, requiring "ugly, old man's" shoes (editor's note: these are Bryan's words). Finally, the name is too long. Try saying it three times fast. Actually, try saying it one time fast.

Brace & "ugly old man's shoes"

Customized bottom of brace

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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February 18, 2010

Cabin Fever

Not much new to report today. It's day four of Bryan's therapy and day four of me being sick. Again. When we get home I definitely need to go to my doctor, as this is also the fourth round of something trying to invade my system over the past two months. This time is easily the worst as though, I've got some terrible chest congestion, cough, fever and achy-ness. I've been sitting in our motel room sleeping, researching and writing articles. Thank goodness we've got a little sliding glass door so the room can get fresh air, or else I'd be outside sitting at some random table hacking up a lung. Not exactly awesome. 

That's the hard part about being sick when you've got someone in your life who is so-called permanently sick. It's a weird thing for me, as Bryan is doing so much better and his immune system is definitely way back up, but I am always so wary of getting germs around him. He's off all his meds except the monthly chemo and bi-weekly Avastin, so that's the great news. His immune system is clearly stronger than mine is!

Lucky for him, he's gone for six hours/day except when I pick him up and bring him back for his "rest period." They are really kicking his butt over at the therapy program, which is great. They've got all sorts of contraptions that don't make much sense standing alone, but are definitely strength and coordination builders once Bryan starts working with them. He also received his new foot brace yesterday, which admittedly looks space-aged but will really help his foot and his walking. Hopefully he'll only be in it for a few months and then his brain will retrain his steps and foot to work the way it did pre-radiation. 

We go back home tomorrow night and we're both ready for our own bed and our own apartment again. As nice as the motel is, there's really just no place like home. Especially when you're getting cabin fever.

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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February 17, 2010

Clearing The Air

Some people have left comments on a previous post assuming that Bryan and I are using a portion of the money from our benefit towards a trip to Italy. Bryan and I want to clear the air, because that is absolutely untrue. To tell the truth, we are insulted and hurt that after being so open and honest with every part of our lives over the past year, some people would immediately assume the worst of us. We truly cherish sharing news with you whether it's good or bad, and when it's something exciting like booking a trip to Italy to celebrate the fact that Bryan outlived his 6-month-to-a-year prognosis, we would hope you would celebrate with us. 

To have to write a post defending our character is upsetting, but sadly we feel it is necessary. Bryan's benefit money is dedicated towards medical expenses ONLY, e.g. his current therapy program, MRIs, Avastin infusions, doctor's appointments, etc. It you want receipts, we can post them. They're not pleasant.

We realize having this blog in the public eye makes it fair game for both supporters and naysayers alike, but at the end of the day, if Bryan and I decide to use every last one of my airline and hotel award miles to take a trip to Italy, that's our decision. Rest assured that not one cent of the benefit money is going towards the trip and luckily for us, neither will much of our personal savings. 

Thanks again for everyone's support. 

- Bryan & Christie

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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February 17, 2010

Therapy Is Better By The Beach

Okay, we're not exactly at the beach. But it was a better title that way.:)

Bryan and I are now in La Jolla, CA, near San Diego, this entire week for a one-on-one therapy session. When he was in inpatient rehab at Cedars – a long six months ago – we were referred to a specialized therapy program by several of the therapists. Many of them had been trained under this therapy guru, and were insistent that if we were able to a) schedule and b) afford it, the program would be hugely beneficial to Bryan. So a HUGE thank you goes out to everyone who supported us through Laughs For Bald Bryan. 

We did some research and promptly put him on the wait list, which was 5 months long. Timing being as it is in our lives, we had no idea where Bryan would be physically and cognitively. But we were patient and as you know, have been dedicated to doing four days of physical and occupational therapy per week since September. It has paid off immensely as Bryan's functionality has returned by probably 75%, and it turns out this program was happening at the perfect time.

We got here on Sunday night, had a hilariously romantic happy hour at Rockbottom Brewery and settled in for the week. Starting Monday morning, Bryan had three hours of therapy from 9am to noon, then a break from noon to 3pm, and three more hours of therapy from 3pm to 6pm. These are long days and let me tell you, Bryan takes a big, long nap in between sessions. The therapy is amazing because it is one-on-one, and taught by a man who has literally written the book on PT and OT – more precisely, he's written 29 of them – and worked all over the world performing PT and OT on Presidents and dignitaries. That last part we had no idea until we got down here, but it's impressive and he definitely knows his stuff.

This guy assessed Bryan' abilities within 15 minutes of him walking into the room and was spot on, which really amazed both of us. He said some great things about Bryan's capacity to improve; for one, he noted that Bryan is on a "very important cusp." He's improved so much but some of his functionality is returning in an incorrect way. As an example, Bryan's movement, strength and balance on his left side is returning, but his left foot has basically "taught itself" to turn inward (meaning, the ankle bends and strains under itself). This is a learned movement that Bryan's brain has become accustomed to, but he needs to "unlearn" it and re-teach it to walk the proper way. That said, he was fitted for yet another new brace that will retrain his entire foot and ankle to wait with a correct gait. It makes perfect sense but we never thought about the way his sports braces were helping his ankle stability, but not leaving his mid- and front-foot area to fend for itself. As a result, it started to turn under itself, giving Bryan a funky looking gait on his left side.

Luckily, this brace shouldn't be needed for more than a few months, as it is one of the last things he needs to get almost all the way back to normal. One of his goals from this therapy week is to get to a point where he can return to the gym and eventually get back to playing sports with his friends. We host an annual "Bish Ball" softball tournament for his birthday but had to skip it this year (for obvious reasons). Our friends have already booked a field for 2010, so there's a lot of pressure on him to get back to "playing ball" shape! :)

We're halfway through the week and I can already tell a difference in his gait and his left arm and hand. He was learning card tricks yesterday to help with his fine motor skills. He's energetic, optimistic and really excited to get back to well, pretty much everything. That's definitely something to celebrate.

On a totally separate note, I promised I would share my first official LAWeekly.com food blogger posts, so here they are!

1. A Water Menu? Now That's Bazaar
2. What, No Mozza? Rachel Ray Magazine Declares Pizzeria Bianco as Best U.S. Pizza
3. Dominick's Mardi Gras Menu: Bringing a Taste of NOLA to LA

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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February 13, 2010

Exciting Times

The last few weeks have been really great. A week ago Bryan had his follow-up MRI that revealed more shrinkage of the tumor. Our doctors were thrilled, but even more-so as it's the actual tumor shrinking, not flare-ups that come and go in other tumors. Apparently that is quite common, but uncommon for the actual tumor itself to shrink. Who knew? Bryan's dad and brother were down for the doctor's appointment, as they had never met Bryan's doctor or seen Cedar's facility. They came with us to get the MRI results as well as the Avastin infusion, which was great.

Another reason for their visit was to bring Bryan's truck back down from its resting spot in the Bay area. When Bryan wasn't doing too well, his parents took his truck back to the Bay area so we wouldn't have to deal with street parking, moving it for street cleaning, etc. There it stayed for almost six months. Now it's back and Bryan even moved it himself the other day. So he's getting back to driving, slowly but surely. We're practicing with short trips around the neighborhood and it's going to be great for him to increase his independence.

In other exciting news, I've been working really hard on my food blog, PardonMyCrumbs.com, and even took a workshop on how to shoot great food photos. I've networked and met some incredible people who have started following my blog (I'm up to 70 official followers now, yay!), and as a result I have been in talks with two L.A. news outlets about  coming on board as a food blogger. My first post will be published next week, and I'll share it here when it's "official." 

Separately, Cedars-Sinai contacted us about doing more contract work for them so that will be a great segue back into the working world, too. The best part about all of this is that everything is flexible, so we can balance our doctor appointment schedule, chemo weeks, Avastin infusions and other medical mumbo-jumbo with actual paying work.

Speaking of paying work, Bryan is in the process of flushing out ideas for a film podcast on Adam Carolla's podcast network. As always, Adam has been amazing, giving Bryan total creative control. It's just a matter of getting it started but fear not; it will become a reality. We're very excited about it. 

Finally, in maybe the most exciting news of all, we booked a trip to Italy to commemorate Bryan's one-year since diagnosis. It's an incredibly special time for us, as we remember Dr. Doom's six-months prognosis all too well. Well, April will be one year since we started this insane journey and we couldn't think of a better way to celebrate the continued success than taking our dream trip to Italy. It's almost a second honeymoon, since Bryan was – literally – radiated out of his mind during our actual honeymoon. As far as Italy goes, we don't have any idea where we're going to go or what we're going to do. All we know is we're flying in and out of Rome and we'll figure out the rest along the way. 

Just like we've been doing all along. :)

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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February 4, 2010

The Go-Kart Incident

Bryan and I went to Las Vegas for a friend's 30th birthday last weekend. There was a big group of us – about 18 total – and our friend "in charge" was looking for fun group activities. Several activities were tossed out but never came to fruition, e.g. driving exotic cars, shooting range, indoor sky diving, etc.

Personally, I'm glad we didn't go shoot any targets or pay $250pp to drive a Ferrari. ESPECIALLY considering what I saw from our friends (myself included) at the decided-upon activity: indoor go-kart racing. 

To give some background, Bryan hasn't been driving since he started radiation in May. That's...what? Ten months? Either way, it's a long time. So go-karting was going to be his first experience back behind the wheel. If you've never driven a go-kart, being behind a go-kart wheel is some serious stuff, requiring outfitting with a head sock (think ski mask for armed robbers), helmets, watching a safety video, etc. The go-karts themselves don't have any doors or padding; you're strapped in with an over-the-shoulder seat belt and sent on your way in a vehicle that maxes out at about 30+mph. That's shockingly fast when you're not protected by a windshield, doors or even have power steering. 

Our group had signed up to race against each other – all 10 of us at a time – for three races; the first was a practice race, the second was a qualifying run, and the third was the actual race. We got into our go-karts, had our seat belts and safety gear approved by the technicians and off we went, onto a course with hairpin turns and plenty of opportunities for ugly crashes.

You can see where I'm going with this. Our group was no more than one lap into the first race when all of our go-karts automatically slowed to a stop. Two of the employees came running out onto the speedway and pulled one of our go-karts off of the course. I was thinking to myself, "Oh please-please-please God don't let it be Bryan." Of course, as luck would have it, I see that it's Bryan getting out of the go-kart, to which I exchange helmeted glances with my closest driver that nervously yet silently said, "Yikes, I hope he's not hurt." Bryan wobbled off the course to the nearest vantage point and our go-karts were put back into gear. I pulled around the track to get a look at him and he was fine, giving me a thumbs up from the side, so I finished the 12-lap race. I had boys to beat. :)

Once our first race was over, we all rushed over to see what had happened. I was heartbroken at the notion that Bryan might not be able to race with his buddies and wanted to see what was going on. I ask, "Are you okay??? What happened?!" Bryan's reply thrilled me because it had nothing to do with his ability to steer the go-kart, operate the pedals, etc. Instead he says about one of our friends, "That a**hole! He rear-ended me into the wall and the employees ejected me from the course for reckless driving!" 

We all shared a good laugh and when it was time for the second race, we suited back up, got into our respective go-karts and took off for the qualifying round. I came in sixth and Bryan came in last. Bryan was very upset because two of our friends were ejected from that race, one of whom slammed another driver's car into a wall with so much force that it actually went up and over the wall. We were seriously lucky that no one got hurt, but Bryan was pissed that he got last when two other drivers were ejected. "Something is wrong with this race, I tell you!" he said. 

Our third and final race went off without incident. When we were all done (Bryan finished 9th and I finished 4th – I'm a defensive driver, what can I say?) we were walking out of the go-kart facility and someone mentioned that when our two friends got in the second-round wreck, he had apologized to the attendant by saying, "I'm sorry, one of our friends has some medical problems." The attendant had no idea who it was, so turned and looked at our friend who had caused the big crash. With that, we all burst into hysterical fits of laughter and went back to our hotel.

The lesson learned here is that Bryan is steadily improving, so much so that his friends are being accused of having medical problems, not him. Finally, the joke's not on us. 

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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January 26, 2010

"Fishing Got Scrapped"

That was the text message I got from Bryan about fishing. It was part of 43 text messages I received as he tried to "document" his weekend so he could remember it once he sobered up. No joke. I stopped responding after about 10 texts, not knowing exactly what to say to a 2:43am text informing me, "Still drunk. Just had two soft tacos." Suffice to say, our good old Bryan is back. :)

My personal favorites: "12:03pm - First beer of the day." Followed by, "12:36pm: I had a breakfast burrito." 

He called when I didn't respond – why would I? He's with the boys and I'm doing my own thing – asking in a worried tone, "Everything okay? I got worried when you didn't respond to my text about a breakfast burrito." Wow, am I that predictable? I guess so.

He had a great weekend, came back worse for wear and took two days to recover. Par for the course!

Before he took off for the bachelor party last Friday afternoon, we spent the day at Cedars following-up with his neuro oncologist and getting his Avastin infusion. Talk about a pre-party. Good news is it was another fantastic appointment with a high-five from the doctor and a "get out of here and live your life" from the Physician's Assistant. Will do; even though we'll see them again in two weeks.

Everything is improving so much that we're actually starting to make plans for more than two weeks at a time. It's really nice because what else are you going to do? We're just living our life the best we can...

It's funny because I'm definitely writing less than I used to, but that's a good thing. I honestly have a hard time thinking of things to write about. How many times can someone read "We're doing great, he's doing great, blah blah blah." It's an amazing thing for us, but doesn't exactly come off as the most interesting of news. But looking back several months, I remember somberly writing, "What I wouldn't give for a normal, boring life." Not to say it's totally normal and boring, especially since we definitely have more doctor's appointments in one month than normal people do in a year, but it's really, really close. 

We're looking for work – turns out the market hasn't bounced back to where we hoped it was – trying not to spend too much money and basically just enjoying our TiVo'd shows. Once we get back to working, there will hardly be any more lazy mornings spent sleeping in, enjoying coffee together and heading to the gym at off-hours. So until life takes us on our next journey, whether it's work, health, whatnot, we're just hanging out. And as boring as that sounds to write, it's true. :) 

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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January 20, 2010

Deep Sea Fishing

Bryan's headed to San Diego this weekend for a good friend's bachelor party. On the agenda? Deep sea fishing.

Yikes.

Listen, I've got nothing against deep sea fishing. In all honesty, I've always wanted to go deep sea fishing. I've been whale watching, but that's hardly the same thing. The idea of being a few miles from shore with the wind in your hair, salt water spraying your face all while on the hunt for Marlin, Swordfish or Tuna... Well, that sounds like an exciting adrenaline rush to me!

You know what doesn't give me an exciting adrenaline rush? The idea of my balance-challenged husband on a boat, miles from shore, attached to a fishing harness while attempting to catch fish that have a distinct "deep sea" advantage over him. All at the end of a week that has been Southern California's stormiest in years. YEARS. God forbid he tries to walk somewhere and a big swell comes...

Before you pounce on me, I know I'm being a bit silly here. Bryan will be with some of our best guy friends who would never, ever let anything happen to him. We're talking about guys Bryan has known since we were in college, guys who stood up as groomsmen in our wedding, guys who came over to take care of him (and give me an opportunity to grab some much-needed to rest) when he was suffering radiation and chemotherapy's worst effects.

The real "issue" with the idea of deep sea fishing is one of adjustment back to a normal life. Which is somewhat crazy in and of itself. Whoever thought it would take time and energy to adjust to getting back to a normal life? It took so long for us to come to grips with the fact that Bryan had a brain tumor in the first place; not to mention the physical and mental decline as a result of an incredibly rough prescribed course of treatment. But that's all changed since September, the point when Bryan started Avastin and began to improve. Slowly but dramatically. As we all know, just a few short months ago the idea of going to San Diego would have been out of the question for Bryan. So the fact that he's going at all and can even consider going deep sea fishing is amazing, exciting and a reminder of what our lives used to be. And what they will be again. 

I'm really happy for him and for us. But that's not to say I'm totally happy about the fishing idea. However, that's my own issue. I know he'll be fine and as along as he has an amazing time with friends, that's all that matters. But he better wear a life jacket. :)

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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January 16, 2010

We Can't Sleep...

It's 3:53am and Bryan and I are both wide awake. Not sure why. I've been tossing and turning for the past hour, while he says he's been up since 1:30am. I think this is the first time in our entire relationship that both of us are experiencing some form of insomnia.

So I'm here, typing away while he's reading Bill Simmon's book. However, he's not reading it in a "this book is boring and will lull me back to sleep" kind of way, because he loves the book. On the contrary, he's just looking for something to do other than focus on not being able to get some shut eye.

I'm not able to sleep because I'm thinking about jobs. Trying to find one, to be exact. Part of me is starting to feel guilty for not doing anything right now, especially since Bryan is doing so well. This week alone he's experienced improvements in his walking – it's almost back to normal – and his left arm and hand. It's really a remarkable things, seeing him progress and functionality return. The fact is, we need some sort of income. We can't continue to live off of our savings. We haven't received the money from the benefit yet and that is designated for medical bills. It would be nice to get it, as we continue to receive bills in excess of $900 on an almost weekly basis. His recurrent MRIs alone are almost a $1000 a pop, not to mention the Avastin treatments, the bills for which are starting to trickle in.

As far as jobs go, Bryan will hopefully be back to driving soon and be able to help Adam Carolla part-time with the podcast network. Whether it's returning to sound effects or hosting a podcast of his own remains to be seen, which is the beauty of the network. It's accommodating and ever-changing depending on what the fans want. And right now the fans want Bryan behind the drop machines again. 

As for me, I'm really going for a writing career. Bryan's and my perspective on life has changed so dramatically that neither of us are willing to compromise our happiness and be stuck in a job we hate. We want to do what we love. I don't know who said it, but "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your whole life."

My love is writing, food, wine and travel. My food blog, Pardon My Crumbs, already has a pretty big following and almost 40 subscribers in 2 1/2 months. My recipes have been featured on a few different food blogger sites, so I must be doing something right. I can, and do, spend hours everyday going through Google Reader looking up foodie news, restaurant reviews, recipe revisions, professional food photography, etc. I post links to Twitter, retell stories on my blog and at the end of the day, it feels like I've only been at it for five minutes. It doesn't feel like slaving over research for a private jet company or automotive brand, like I've done for clients in years past. Beyond the research and networking, my other hands-down favorite part of the day is experimenting with recipes. I wake up in the morning and my first thought – literally – is what to make for dinner. How I'm going to photograph it. What stories I can write to go with the recipe about my experiences with the specific food in my past, to bring the meal to life and give it soul. I know it might sound crazy, but hey, everyone's got their niche. And mine is food and wine.

So if anyone out there knows any editors or writers, let me know. My contacts in advertising are endless, so I'm trying to navigate those waters first and see if it translates into writing contacts. But I'll absolutely take any help I can get.

I've said this before, but the name of the game for our jobs in 2010 is flexibility. Bryan and I still have so many appointments and medical "stuff" to attend to; bi-weekly neuro oncology check-ups and Avastin infusions, five days of chemo per month, bi-monthly MRIs, etc. And Bryan definitely still has good days and bad days. That said, any writing assignments I can research and complete from home or within a close radius to home, is key. 

I know it will all work out, it just depends on when. So in the meantime, I'm throwing lots of lines into the water and hopefully someone will bite, taking a chance on letting me write for them. God knows I've compiled a comprehensive portfolio since May on this site alone.

Okay, enough writing for now. Bryan is cracking up next to me, reading Simmon's accounts of Ron Artest's attack on fans. Apparently he's wide awake because he's laughing like it's 4pm, not 4am. As for me, I'm going to try and get back to sleep, lulled by his sweet giggling. Goodnight. 

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Posted by Christie Clough Bishop 

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